Okay, teenagers. This bit’s for you.

Are you sick of art therapy, emotion charts and someone asking you about your big feelings? Is everyone suddenly throwing words at you that make absolutely no sodding sense?

Emotional dysregulation. Burnout. ADHD. ASD. AuDHD. PDA. EBSA.

And apparently your nervous system needs regulating. What even is your nervous system, and why has everyone suddenly got an opinion about it?

If your current response to all of this is WTAF? Excellent. We’re off to a good start.

I’m here to help you actually understand what’s going on — without wrapping you in cotton wool, talking to you like you’re six or making you colour in a picture of how anxiety makes you feel. Because chances are, you already know you feel like crap. You want to know why. And, more importantly, what you can actually do about it.

So if school, therapists, doctors and Mavis next door all seem to have plenty to say but nothing particularly useful to offer, nip downstairs and tell whoever pays the bills: “I’ve found someone I might actually work with.”

Look — being a teenager can be absolute shite.

I’m not going to tell you these are “the best years of your life” while you’re trying to survive school, friendships, family, exams, social media, your own brain and approximately 74 people asking you what you’re going to do with your future.

But however stuck you feel right now, you can move forward. And however weird, frightening or completely exhausting this feels, you are definitely not the only one going through it.

You might work with me one-to-one. Or — and don’t hate me here — someone may have signed you up for group work. Either way, here’s what I need from you: you don’t have to be excited. You don’t have to believe it’s going to work. You don’t even have to particularly want to be there at first. But you do need to give it a go.

Because I can help you understand what’s happening, challenge some of the stuff that’s keeping you stuck and support you while you start doing more of the things you want to be able to do. But I can’t do the trying bit for you. That’s your job.

And I’ve been doing this for years, so I’m not going to throw you into anything without explaining what we’re doing and why. We’ll talk before anything starts. You’ll know what to expect. You can ask questions. And no, I’m not going to make you sit in a circle and tell strangers your deepest darkest secrets. Probably.

Deal?

If you think this might be worth a shot, let whoever’s sorting it out know.